Mac vs. Tom Brady: The Showdown
written by Gary on February 4th, 2008 under Real world Sunny
With the recent humbling of Tom Brady in Super Bowl XLII (that’s 42, for those of you that aren’t 872 years old), you’ve probably been wondering, could Mac kick Tom Brady’s baby smooth ass? We’ve probably been thinking about it more than you, cause we’re awesomer then you.
In the opening of the episode “The Gang Finds a Dead Guy” (Season 1, Episode 6 - Download it from Amazon), we find Mac and Sweet Dee entering the bar one morning arguing over whether or not Mac could kick Tom Brady’s ass. Naturally, the ‘ripped’ Mac thinks he wouldn’t have a problem, while ‘woman’ Dee thinks Brady would destroy Mac. It should be noted that Mac is likely bitter that his Philadelphia Eagles lost in Super Bowl XXXIX to Brady’s Patriots.
Let’s be honest. But not too honest, cause we’re not hippies. Most men out there probably wouldn’t mind kicking Brady’s ass, if for nothing more than pure jealousy (for the record, this blogger would never harm his fellow Wolverine Alum). Up until losing the ‘07 AFC Championship Game to corporate slut Peyton Manning, Brady was bullet-proof. He was banging Bridget Moynahan, had 3 Super Bowls under his belt, and he put the ‘man’ in ‘Gentleman’s Quarterly.’ Even his cleft chin, considered a negative trait to some, perfectly matched his chiseled features (tuck boner into waistband now).
Then, things took a turn towards the shitter. Moynahan pulled the goalie to try for ‘da old keep-a-nigga baby,’ Brady lost to aforementioned pussy Manning, things weren’t looking so hot. Then he bagged Gisele, and Pats went on quite a roll, despite Spygate. Everything seemed right in the Tom Brady universe until 2/3/08, when the heavily-favored Patriots shit the bed against the NY Giants.
Winner after the jump!
Now the question is, has Brady lost his powers? It should be noted that he’s still 6-4, 225, but Mac does work out ‘like everyday’ according to tranny Carmen. He can beat the shit out of Charlie with chairs, crates, and trash cans. He laid out Carmen with a quick rabbit punch, and she has a dick. He also laid out ‘glass-bones’ Sweet Dee at least three times (rabbit punch, elbow during basketball, cheap shot during football tryout).
Just don’t take his bat, k?
As much as I’d probably enjoy watching Mac whoop on Tom Brady, there’s one more example that bears mentioning. In “100 Dollar Baby,” (Season 2, Episode 5 - Download it from Amazon) Mac had to fill in for Charlie in an underground street fight. He proceeded to get his shit kicked in by a scrawny kid half his size.
Much as it pains me to agree with a woman, I have to side with Sweet Dee on this one.
Tom Brady would murder Mac. Then fuck him in the ass just for fun.
Then let Gisele polish his knob.
However this post couldn’t be complete without noting that Mac could, without doubt, open up a can a of Sleeveless Brand Whoop Ass™ on Eli Manning and peanut faced brother Peyton. Hell, I wouldn’t even rule out Dee taking it to the “pussiests brothers ever” as Yahoo! News called them. I think they did anyway.
One Comment
The donut chin is probably the most unappealing characteristic a grown man can have.
Dare I say that Mr. Brady has…peaked?
Ehh…as far as Mac taking him on himself, I’m not so sure. But have Sweet Dee team up with him, they’d take him down! Actually, Mac would probably just chicken out anyway, letting Dee take his bat and beat the living shit out of him, god help us if she finds a trash can lid…she’d do some serious damage with it.
He’d never tug his rotten pecker at her again.