Character profile #2: Sweet Dee
written by Gary on February 2nd, 2008 under Character profiles
Born Deandra Reynolds, Sweet Dee is considered by most to be the less-attractive, black sheep twin sister of Dennis Reynolds. She’s been constantly barraged with insults of being ugly, a whore, having 5-head, and crow’s feet, among others. But not you. You think she’s hot don’t you, you fucking deviant? You think world-class whore Sweet Dee is cute and you don’t understand why no one else does? That’s probably because you haven’t been laid in 3 years. It’s ok, we haven’t been either.
Ok, fine, we might sorta think she’s half cute too. And, even though Gary hates to say this: “I think we should talk about the breasts.”
Perhaps Dee brings all the criticism on herself, when she’s ’sitting in her cloud of judgment, passing down life lessons to all the sinners.’ She constantly refers to her brother Dennis as ‘vain,’ or ‘a horrible person.’ She also calls Mac an asshole, but is usually relatively easy on sweet, innocent, and downright awesome Charlie, with the occasional exception of threatening to punch a hole through his face, or pushing him onto a car. Dee’s horribly judgmental attitude is likely an effect of her time in Psychology classes at Penn. She failed all her classes…
It’s possible that many of Sweet Dee’s flaws stem from her adolescence. She had horrible scoliosis as a teen and had to wear a very obtuse back brace which earned her the nickname ‘The Aluminum Monster.’ She was constantly picked on and berated, as noted in her middle school diary which Charlie had read to him by the mysterious Ernesto. Her overweight best friend from high school, Ingrid or ‘Fatty McGoo,’ went on to lose a ton of weight and become a semi-successful fashion designer.
Dee’s horrible taste in men began in the very first episode, when she pursued a relationship with a fellow acting student named Terrell. He also happened to be black and gay. She then befriends Trey, an 18-year-old high school senior. It turns out that Trey was just using the 28-year-old Dee to make his girlfriend jealous. Her next man was Colin, a sleazy bartender who’d been sleeping with all the hot bartenders in town, using them to rob every bar, including Paddy’s, twice. Next up is a priest, Matthew Mara, or ‘Rickety Cricket,’ who worshipped Dee in high school, including eating a piece of horse shit just for the opportunity to kiss her. In Season 3, she sleeps with a disgusting North Korean dishwasher for a beer recipe. Finally, she tried to gold-dig an up-and-coming white local rapper named Lil’ K, who may or may not have been retarded.
So Dee chases fags, priests, felons, and retards. Throw in statutory rape and you have quite a stew. Not that there’s anything wrong with chasing fags, if you are a fag (you are). Sweet Dee will get stupid drunk and pretty much fuck anything that moves, except for Charlie. Kind of like your drunk, 48-year-old Aunt Carol, except with lower standards.
Would you do her?
Read the other character profiles:
#1: Charlie Kelly
3 Comments
of course i’d do her! you’d be crazy not to! right?
I do her… in a pinch…
For the record I would totally do her. But you have to understand in the world of Sunny, Dee is anything but desireable.